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[Oct. 1st, 2006|01:03 am]
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[ssjkawaiitenshi]
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Title: Things I'll Never Say
FullMetal Alchemist - Romance - R - Ed/Winry
Edward comes back to find theyare both different, but can they get over those differances?
Author : ssjkawaiitenshi

"Prologue -2" ----"3" ----- "4"----- "5"----- " 6"----" 7 + 8" -- "9"--- "10"
-- "11"



Chapter 12 : To act

"Al.... are you sure about this?" I tentatively ask while gazing into the mirror at myself. It was just a few hours ago that him and I made up from our spat. An argument I really have no idea was about. I was honest and told him how sorry I was about leaving. I didn't even think. I just let the words roll off my tongue, and I felt so good afterwards. Thats when I told him what I wanted to. And with a big grin he dragged me upstairs to prepare. I almost wish I never apologized.

"Oh yes brother, definitely sure... you can do this..." He tells me with a big smile, I can see in the reflection of the mirror. I scowl in response. Al sees me and rolls his eyes. Does he really think this is easy for me?! To commit and stay forever in one place is the hardest thing for me to ever do. I'm a mobile. I never stay still, always moving and going where the wind takes me. To think that I am really going to go and ask her is still causing my fingers and toes to tingle.

"Okay brother, lets go over this again..." I turn crimson at the words and spin on him.

"No way Al..." I ground out.

"Okay so you're fine with going down there and stuttering like an idiot then?" I can see laughter behind his hazel eyes and I scowl again.

"Ya know brother" He points at my face. "..if you keep doing that its going to stick." My scowl deepens.

I know he's trying to make this easier, but all he is doing is making me even more nervous than I already am.

Winry, I'm trying to be perfect for you... but is my love going to be enough?



_-_-_

I try in vain to prevent the creaking of the stairs under my weight, but my metal leg doesn't help and its causing a very loud squeak of wood against wood and I cringe, but the argument in the kitchen ensues.

"All I want is for him to marry me Granny...." She is crying, and my breath catches in my throat. I come to a halt on the stairs.

Did she really just say that?! My heart seems to start beating faster and threatens to burst through my chest.

"Well there is still much he doesn't know..." Granny says and I can tell by the tone in her voice she is annoyed, but at who exactly I don't know.

I take another step, and the wood bends but does not make a sound. So slowly I descend them preparing for the moment of truth.

_-_-_


The small velvet box within my automail hand falls to the floor and rolls away. I'm staring at my feet now watching it. Time seems to  stand still as it rolls across the floor. I'm frozen and my mind is blank at the moment, except for one two syllable word....

Father....

The word echoes in my head over and over again. My feet planted in one spot on the floor and my flesh hand is trembling and I can hear her deep breathing coming from not to far away.

The box is seated nicely upon the smooth floor. This plan... thought... has gone terribly wrong all of a sudden.... This isn't the way it was suppose to be....

More silence.... More heavy breathing....

I'm not ready...

Fear... Terror... it consumes me...

I feel my body start to tingle, and not in a good way. My heart constricts and I feel like I can't breath. I can hear someone calling my name, but it seems so far away. My throat goes dry and my stomach lurches. A light touch to my cheek brings me back to reality. There staring into my gold eyes is a pair of azure ones, full of worry and.... is that... fear?

There it is again, that voice, and light touch.

"Edward...." She whispers. I stumble back in response. She is holding the box in her hands and my eyes get wide.

Too much all at once.

Do I really want to marry her? Yes.. but.... this... my eyes wonder from the box to her stomach and I feel bial rise in my throat and my head feels suddenly heavy.

I.... need.... to.... get.... out.... of....

I run to the bathroom...

Here....

After a few moments of lurching into the toilet a soft hand is pressing against my spine and the other is holding my hair back.

An anguished cry erupts from me as another shudder courses through my frame.

"You know, I did this for Winry for about... hmm... a few weeks I think...." I still don't know what to say. "This doesn't change anything brother.."

How can he say that?! Doesn't this change everything?

Al reaches over and flushes the toilet and reappears with a nice warm cloth and begins wiping my face. I continue to say nothing. Although I know he wishes me to. But what am I suppose to say? My heart and mind are numb at the moment and I all I wish for is that I never got out bed this morning...

Bed... our bed... I wince...

"Brother? Are you alright?" What the FUCK?! How can he even ASK me that?! I shove him away and scramble to my feet. "Edward.." He says to me, like he's scolding a small child. Its like he can read my mind. I have come to my senses and he knows exactly what I am about to. He grabs my arm before I make a move.  "Think before you act..."

I wrench away. "Well she should have fucking told me...."

"That may be true... but she is telling you now...."

"WHAT?! She never told me! I had to fucking hear it come from SOMEONE ELSE!" His face softens and I scowl at it.

"Didn't I tell you not to make that face brother..."

"Don't make this funny... because it isn't!" I ground out at him while I make my way to the doorway.

"She needs you brother... go to her..."

"Oh yeah I'm going to her...."I tell him seething.

"If you're going to yell at her...then I won't let you...." He moves too quickly for me to stop him... he is blocking my path.

"Like hell you are!" But he puts a hand on my chest told hold me still.

"This isn't just her fault.... it takes TWO people to make a baby, brother...."

"I was there Al... I KNOW THAT!" My face reddens from anger AND embarrassment.

"What are you yelling at me for?"

"I DON'T KNOW!! GAHHH!!!" I yell out and he catches me before I fall to my knees.

He whispers in my ear as he embraces me. "Its okay brother... its okay... everything will be fine...." His voice is soothing... almost like mom's... "You won't be like him... I won't let it happen..." How does he do that? How does he know what is going on in my head all the time?

"Oh god Al..." I hold him tighter. "What am I going to do..."

"You're going to marry her.... have a beautiful baby... everything will be fine.... it will be wonderful..." I turn my head to see him and he is smiling at me. Oh I hope you're right Al.

----

There's not much left of this story... just so you know....
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: redthemister
2006-10-01 10:36 am (UTC)
I've been following this story since you started it, and I've never commented on it... *guilt guilt*

But it is VERY well done, and I've been loving it the whole way. Keep it up! (^-^)-b
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: annepackrat
2006-10-01 01:08 pm (UTC)
I was waiting for this chapter. It's good. Only complaint: At one point Ed says "I'm a mobile." A mobile what? Home? Phone? I think you need another noun in there.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: ryokku
2006-10-01 05:53 pm (UTC)
"I'm a mobile" means he can't stay in one place. He always has to be moving.

Anyway, very nicely done, Buddy. As usual. :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: studentat32
2006-10-02 02:34 am (UTC)
very well written just like the other chapters, but not much else to the story? It makes me sad it's ending.
(Reply) (Thread)
From: ssjkawaiitenshi
2006-10-02 02:40 am (UTC)
there is going to be a set of drabbles/oneshots called Things Said, set after this...
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: studentat32
2006-10-03 09:27 pm (UTC)
really sounds pretty cool, i cant wait!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: flora_baggins
2006-10-07 10:58 pm (UTC)
I was excited to see that you had put this up! I've been waiting a while for this latest installment. Can't wait to see how it turns out and the drabbles that are to follow. ^_^
(Reply) (Thread)
From: ssjkawaiitenshi
2006-10-30 05:43 pm (UTC)
Just noticed that you are reading my story, thanks :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: ketto_thrast
2006-12-02 09:23 am (UTC)
i was re-reading your story, curious to know if you had updated it, then i realized at the end i hadn't posted a comment! i'm sorry! it's a travesty, i know! but yes, i love this story! i hope you'll update soon ^-^

I love Ed's reaction; jumping to conclusions but really it's all rooted in a childhood... dissapointment. i very much like ;) brilliantly done!

I looke forward to reading the rest of this story! it's beautifully done!

~Mel
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