... (ssjkawaiitenshi) wrote in kt_fanfics,

Title: Things I'll Never Say
FullMetal Alchemist - Romance - R - Ed/Winry
Edward comes back to find theyare both different, but can they get over those differances?
Author : ssjkawaiitenshi

"Prologue -2" ----"3" ----- "4"----- "5"----- " 6"----" 7 + 8" -- "9"--- "10"

Chapter 11 : crucial moment

Part 1 :

My hands curl into fists at my sides as I look at myself in the mirror; naked. The water from my shower is still glistening off my skin and my hair is soaked still. I haven't cut my hair in a very longtime. I smile at the thought of it. Ed told me how he marveled my hair. So since that day I've kept it long and did not dare trim my blonde locks. But thinking of him brings a frown to my slightly flushed features.

Absentmindedly I run a hand over my abdomen. I've tried many times to tell him. But the words come out all jumbled and confused. Of course I always recover in record time and say that I had a headache, or that I forgot what I was going to say. At first it worked. He simply smiled at me and said okay. However after the third time he arched a golden eyebrow in my direction and asked if anything was wrong. Inwardly I had cringed and kicked myself. He then proceeded to do something I never thought he would, and it only made matters worse for me. He took his hands into mine and looked me in the eyes. "You can tell me anything... even things you think you will never say.... you can tell me... I will never judge you..." Then he smiled and left me to think things over. I stomped on the floor and cursed. Why does he have to be so god damn nice. Since that day I can visibly see how he restrains himself from getting to mad at me, and never goads me into a fight. Almost as if he thinks I would make him leave.

One day, I think it was about two weeks ago, I was so close. It was on the tip of my tongue. But Al walked in carrying groceries. I took this as my chance to flee and immerse myself in automail. But the clanging of metal against metal did nothing for the knot in my stomach, which was steadily getting bigger and tighter as time went on.

I've been avoiding him. Well, not really. But to me I have been. To him I bet I am just really busy. When I climb into bed at night he shifts next to me, rolling over and slinging an arm around my middle. Almost, as if he knows what is growing inside me he rubs my lower abdomen and murmurs a hello in my ear. And I try so hard not to stiffen at his touch, but it can't be helped. Of course, Ed sleeps like a rock so he doesn't notice in the least. And I always sigh in relief when his breathing goes back to a steady rhythm, indicating he is asleep again.

The water has started to evaporate on my skin and thus only leaving my hair wet. i rub the towel over my hair before wrapping it up. THe other towel, that I normally use to dry the rest of my body has always been right fitting, but now it strains against my skin and I have to work hard to get it around the small pouch that has started to form. Yes, i am gaining weight, and it seems to me anywhere from about two pounds in few days to one pound a week. Edward has noticed this. HE wrapped his arms around me from the back and pulled me into his chest. He pulled back a bit and whispered that I felt different. I chuckled then. That was his way of saying that I have put on a few pounds. I shook my head and released myself from his embrace and went to my room to promptly think of a way to tell him. And like always I never could think of anything.

Cautiously I open the door of the bathroom and tip toe down to my room, no, our room. My clothes lay strewn on the unmade bed and I frown. He got up and never made the bed. I scrunch my face up in irritation. Men can't even make a bed... Well, the way I look at it, I'll take an unmade bed compared to busted automail any day. I chuckle to myself as I sift through the draws of my bureau.

Why does Ed have to be so difficult to talk to? I know the answer to that question. It's because of how nice he has been lately, and that I feel guilty for not telling him. Because as time when on, it just became easier to just ignore it all together and not tell him. Until one day my pants wouldn't fit.  It was just yesterday that I attempted to put on my skirt and found that i could not button the last claps at the top. My first thought was to reach for my sweats, the ones I keep for the winter months. But I couldn't do that. Ed would see right through it. Because the Fullmetal alchemist misses nothing! Rolling my eyes at my thoughts I pull on an old jumpsuit I had laying around. This would just have to do for today.


Part 2 :

"You're being unfair Winry!" Damn old hag for yelling at me. What gives her the right?! Oh yeah, she's my grandmother. But still, I am an adult and I can do as I please. "You are as stubborn as he is..." She mumbles.

Slamming my hands into the table I hang my head.  "I'm just not ready!" I pause. "Oh and I heard that!" My head snaps up as she snickers and I glare daggers at her. My breathing quickens and I assume my face is as red as a cherry, but I don't really care at this point.

"Well you better hurry up there girl... before its too late." She tells me with concern evident in her voice as she looks down at my pants.

Oh yes, thats right, my pants don't fit anymore. It was quite awkward going up to Al and asking him to make my pants bigger. He smiled sadly at me and did as I requested. I watched him draw the circle on the ground and place my trousers in the middle. As he put his hands down Ed walked in and I almost had a heart attack. He looked on in bewilderment and I instantly snatched the pants, thanked Al and said I needed to check on my latest project.

I sigh and puff out my cheeks.

She is right though. I have been putting this off for far to long. But what am I suppose to say to him? I haven't exactly been lying to him. I have just not been too forthcoming with what is going on.

"You're so stubborn!" Yes, I am and pretty damn well proud of my strong nature. I slump into the chair at the table and put my head on folded arms upon the table. But before I can stop them, tears start to prick my eyes. I shudder at the feeling that has been enveloping me lately.


I am deathly afraid. Scared that Edward will leave me. I know it is a stupid thing to think, but how can I not? He has never been a man to settle. How do I know he still isn't thinking of packing up and leaving again?

A soft hand is placed on my shoulder and in reaction I get up quickly, over turning the chair, wrenching away from the embrace my grandmother is so willing to give me. "I don't need you pity." She pulls her hand back in responce to my hurtful words. I wince as I realize my mistake. "Granny, I'm sorry... please.. just... leave me alone.." I plead with her.

"No! You will deal with this! You made a mistake and you must live with the consequences!" She is furious.

"Don't tell me what to do." Again my hands plant themselves on the table, as a wave on nausea envelopes me.

"I can, and I will. He has a right to know he is going to be a father! Don't be foolish..." I can hear her leave through the kitchen door to probably go out to the work shed. I puff out my cheeks in irritation. Turning toward the doorway to the living room I stumble back and catch myself on the table's edge before gasping in shock.



I know it is short, and I apologize for that.

Does it suck? Tell me.
Tags: fanfiction by series : things i'll never, fma

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